Top 10 Most Outrageous DUI’s

We all know that getting a DUI is serious business and can truly affect people’s lives. BUT there are those few occasions when you just have to marvel at the ways people invent to Booze and Cruise. Here’s the Top 10 Most Outrageous DUI’s

1. Christmas Float: “Deck the Halls with boughs of Wasted.”

On December 20th, 2006 David Allen Rodgers decided that the float in front of him was driving just too slow so he decided to pass it along with running a red light and speeding down Main Street. The Columbia, SC police finally overtook the out-of-control holiday float and found Mr. Rodgers driving with an open bottle of alcohol riding shotgun, he was hit with more than a dozen charges including DUI, kidnapping, assaulting a police officer, and for being an idiot.

2. Powered Wheelchair: “Go Speed Racer! GO!

Even at the age of 64 putting the pedal to the metal can be appealing, just not when you’re on a powered wheelchair and driving on a major highway. The gentlemen from Bisbane Australia claims he was making a nine mile trip to a friend’s house and funny enough, he almost made. At a BAC of .301 and almost six times the legal limit, the man was spotted coming off an exit ramp, slouched over in his chair while cars swerved wildly to avoid him. He was arrested and charged with a DUI. Move over Pops!

3. Zamboni:”You should see my other ride.”

A 22 year old man was charged with drunken driving for crashing a Zamboni into a wall near a storage area inside a Portland, Maine civic center. Police responding to an alarm found Adam Patterson riding the machine in idle. Authorities say he also tried to operate two forklifts as well. He works hard for the money, so hard for the money!

4. Motorized Bar Stool: “Nothing spells DUI like a powered Barstool.”

Kile Wygle, a 28-year-old of Newark, Ohio, crashed his contraption along the road prompting witnesses to call in the accident. Kile later admitted to drinking about 15 beers before “driving” the stool. He also told police that the machine could reach speeds of 38 mph but said he was only going 20 mph at the time of the crash. Rrrrrrright!

5. Tractor: “That’s a Hot Ride you got there!”

On November 13th, 2009, 63-year-old Ford Earl Broome took his tractor for a beer run at a local tavern. Exercising the discreetness of an elephant, the Export, PA resident roared up to the bar in his tractor, drawing immediate attention from police as he stumbled in to buy his booze. After some questioning, Broome admitted to “drinking a little” before climbing aboard his tractor. As often happens, the breathalyzer proved “a little” to be a relative term, as Broome blew a breathalyzer twice the legal limit.

6. Cruizin Cooler: “I bet my ride’s cooler than yours.”

First of all, yes, the Cruzin Cooler counts as a vehicle, and that is why Whitehall, NY resident Leslie J. “Bomber” Marr, 57, faces felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle charges, for swerving and driving on the sidewalk. The cooler contained 14 beers, but Washington County DA Kevin Kortright wasn’t impressed. “They tell us he’s been riding around town on that cooler for years,” Kortright said, completely serious. Greatest thing since sliced bread!

7. Skateboard: “Damn Kids!”

In October of 2007, 22-year old Carey Mitchell Syms was fined $300.00 and charged with a DUI for riding his skateboard recklessly into traffic with a bottle of rum in hand. Police claim he was blowing through traffic lights and weaving in and out of lanes with no apparent regard for safety. Syms told the local magistrate, Tom Killeen that he only went skating because he was too drunk to drive himself around. Killeen didn’t seem to buy this excuse. “You were affected by alcohol and screaming down a hill towards a road intersection. You could have got yourself killed or caused accidents to other people on the road by your conduct,” replied Killeen. Here’s your sign.

8. Barbie Power Wheels: “Pretty in Pink.”

Paul Hutton, father of a 17-year-old son, found an abandoned Barbie Jeep designed for toddlers and decided to add custom wheels as an engineering project with his son. After a couple of drinks, Mr. Hutton “couldn’t resist the temptation to take it out.” Driving along the road in England, the police pulled Mr. Hutton aside and charged him with drunk driving. At 4 mph, we can assume it was hardly a high-speed chase. When asked about the incident, Mr. Hutton admits he was a “twit” but was still shocked to get in trouble for drunk driving. The police confiscated the vehicle, but Mr. Hutton hopes to get it back. I mean, who wouldn’t.

9. Tricycle

A 58 year old man from Oregon was arrested in August 2008 for riding an “adult sized tricycle” while he was hammered. So wait, they make adult sized tricycles? Anyway, he was arrested for driving while intoxicated after running a stop sign and driving down the wrong side of the road. Nice!

10. Horse Buggy: “Gotta love them Amish!”

Only a guy by the name of Elmer Stoltzfoos Fisher would be arrested for a DUI while steering a horse drawn carriage. Apparently Elmer passed out in the carriage while his horse, moving at a walking pace, strolled down the center of a Wisconsin road. Police arrived on the scene and noticed a strong smell of alcohol emitting from the buggy. Elmer blew a .18 on the breathalyzer, which was more than twice the Wisconsin legal limit. Here’s to you Elmer! Jack ass!

And cheers to the other nine jack asses who made up the Top 10 Most Outrageous DUI’S!